WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
