His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
