guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
