Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
