you would pick up someone in the library
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
