doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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