..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
