i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
