The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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