what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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