a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
