I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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