she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
