Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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