whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
