Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
