He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize