Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize