I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
