if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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