I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
