I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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