Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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