Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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