Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
