That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
