I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
