Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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