there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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