I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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