coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
