And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize