He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
