I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hate all girls vehemently.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
