I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize