sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
