I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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