I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
