I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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