I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
