I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
false alarm, still single
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize