i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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