Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
