Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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