what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
