we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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