Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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