I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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