just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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