Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize