Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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