Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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