I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
