I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
