I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
