you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
