it was like his penis was on wheels.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
