I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
