I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
