Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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