Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
