direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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