Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
