Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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