Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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